“If we learn to meet each other’s deep emotional need to feel loved, and choose to do it, the love we share will be exciting beyond anything we’ve ever felt.” —Gary Chapman
Ever had an argument with your partner and the phrase “You just don’t get it,” or “I’m not a mind reader” entered the conversation?…Yeah, I’m pretty sure we have all been there.
If they only knew how you were feeling and truly understood where your point of view was coming from. That’s basically of the idea behind the concept of love languages. It’s breaking down the 5 different ways people love, and understanding those differences. By doing this, and really applying some of the tools learned, you can make any relationship flourish.
This concept was created by Dr. Gary Chapman, and in my opinion, and I’m sure the opinion of many, he hit the nail on the head. His simplistic and real way of approaching love and how people love, well, just works.
I myself just finished his book “The 5 Love Languages – The Secret to Love That Lasts.” This version is technically for married couples, but I’ll tell ya, what an eye opener. (I just ordered the one for singles too!) One of my favorite parts of the book was where Dr. Chapman explained the difference between knowing and feeling – that quite often we may know that your partner loves you, but you don’t feel loved. That sentence alone got my wheels spinning.
The five languages are pretty straightforward.
- Words of Affirmation: Expressing affection through spoken affection, praise, or appreciation.
- Acts of Service: Actions, rather than words, are used to show and receive love.
- Receiving Gifts: Gifting is symbolic of love and affection.
- Quality Time: Expressing affection with undivided, undistracted attention.
- Physical Touch: It’s not always about the bedroom. It can be holding hands or even a simple hug. With this love language, the speaker feels affection through physical touch.
There is a good chance you can relate to a few of these; maybe all of them. But most of us have one or two that take the lead. The most interesting part about it is that it’s different for everyone. So let’s test your love language!
So, how did you score? Pretty accurate, huh?
For me, when it comes to me feeling loved, I need more than words. So it’s no surprise that my primary love language is Acts of Service with 9 points. With a close second, came Quality Time with 8 points. Following that was Physical Touch and Receiving Gifts that tied at 5 points, and lastly came Words of Affirmation with 3 points.
Some of you are probably comparing my score with yours and realizing that it’s the total opposite. Is yours better than mine or vice versa? Heck no! It’s simply showing that you and I love in different ways. It’s obvious that we all show affection in different ways, but by using these 5 different “languages,” we are actually able to determine how we love and what makes us feel loved.
So, take the quiz. Read the book(s). I promise you won’t regret it.
Hugs and Kisses,